Bad (for women and) Teacher(s)

Columbia Pictures' Bad Teacher will be released on June 24th, starring Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake. I have been disgusted with this movie from the first time I saw the trailer. It's not that didn't know that much of what Hollywood grinds out isn't always favorable to women or minorities, but this seems like a new low.

For those of you unfamiliar with the plot here it is, according to the trailer and reviews: Cameron Diaz plays a foul-mouthed, hard-partying woman who has been dumped by her rich fiance, and has to (gasp!) work for a living as a 7th grade teacher. She can't have that, so she makes it a goal to find someone to take care of her, and sets her sights on one of her colleagues (Justin Timberlake). For whatever reason, she gets it in her head that in order to land him, she has to get breast implants, which makes her actually get involved with her students, because there is some test-taking contest that involves prize money which she needs so she can get implants. Whew. So, a teacher hates her job and wants to marry a rich guy, and thinks she needs breast implants to do it. And in case you were wondering, yes, there is a car wash scene.

I'm flabbergasted. How can this be funny?Let's list off the awful ideas and stereotypes that this movie promotes:

1. Women should depend on men to financially support them.

2. It's okay for women to feel like they have to cosmetically alter their bodies in order to attract men.

3. Men are dumb and superficial and only notice and like a girl if she has big breasts.

4. I don't know what to say about how they treat teachers--that being a teacher is overall an uncool, sucky job? And that it's so easy, even an awful, unqualified person like Diaz's character could do it? Which is not at all cool, given the very real issues teachers are facing now, and how hard it is to get a job as a teacher.

I don't know how the movie ends. I will have to rely on someone else to tell me, because I refuse to spend money on this film. If I had to take a stab, I'd say that it has a warm, happy ending, in which the selfish, superficial teacher gets some sort of mild comeuppance and learns that maybe being a teacher isn't so bad, and that she can find someone who appreciates her--small breasts and all. Probably the Jason Segel character, 'cause in the preview he asks her to hold his ball sack, and she asks him to sign her yearbook. If that isn't mature, grown-up love, I don't know what is.

I don't think it matters how the movie ends, though. The fact is that Hollywood is once again finding ways to harm women and (try) to make it funny. I think that Hollywood has taken many, many steps backward in the past decade or two concerning women in film. What powerful roles have women been given lately? Most of the examples of "powerful" women are sexy women doing guy things. That's not empowering--that's just sexy women doing guy things. Movies like Sucker Punch and the Transformers franchise create an absurd image of women that doesn't exist in the real world. That isn't to say that there aren't girls who are into kicking ass and fixing cars--but the majority of those women aren't also into copious amounts of lip gloss and wearing push-up bras. (Actually, I don't know any woman who is "into" wearing push-up bras. Those things are crazy uncomfortable).

So the kind of women that are in many Hollywood blockbusters today are just decorative. They often don't add much to the story except sex appeal. This makes things difficult for real women who are actually people and have their own interests separate from what men like to do--or what men like to watch women do. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with men's interests; it just isn't fair to push them on women as the epitome of sexy and empowering. Because it isn't.

Bad Teacher is bad for women on a whole other level. Not only is Diaz's character unrealistic, but she is blatantly counter to what strong women believe in--that we are capable and therefore deserve to be equal in the workplace, and that we should be proud of our bodies. Our natural bodies. For some reason, this doesn't seem to be raising red flags for many people, but that's probably because we're so used to seeing Hollywood stick out its foot to trip feminism so often. And, obviously, it works. Because they keep doing it, and people keep lining up to see it.

Of course, there is one glaring exception to my "Modern Hollywood Sucks" bitchfest, and that's Bridesmaids. I've read some feminist criticism of Bridesmaids, which essentially complains that the first big female-powered comedy is about what? Yeah, marriage. Maybe, but isn't that what The Hangover movies are about? Pre-wedding craziness. Bridesmaids does the same thing, but from a female perspective, and it's hilarious to both men and women. I'm absolutely ecstatic that Bridesmaids has done so well, because that means that there is a market for that kind of movie. And where there is a market, there will be product.

I will not go see Bad Teacher, because I refuse to be a part of what encourages production companies to keep making these sort of mindless films. If you would like to see films that are actually empowering to women rather than making women sexy joke fodder, go see something like Bridesmaids instead.