Feminism: Say it Loud, Say it Proud

It has been awhile since I've posted. I just finished my last semester of undergraduate work, earning a BA in history. This past semester was busy, but the greatest thing about it was that the majority of my classes were focused on women and feminism, which means I've learned a lot these past few months. I've read a lot of (sometimes confusing, often illuminating) feminist theory, learned a lot about the history of inspiring women in America, and had the privilege of witnessing a classroom of women warm up to the idea of identifying as feminists.

One of the main ideas that kept sticking with me throughout this past semester, is that no one should be ashamed or scared of identifying as someone who actively fights for equality. In my Women's Studies course, there were women who stuck up their nose at the idea of feminism at the beginning of the course, and identified as feminists at the end. That was inspiring to see, especially because I think it often takes a great deal of courage for young women to "come out" as feminists. Feminism has, since it's conception as an identity, suffered from negative stereotypes, and many people equate feminists with uptight, man-hating bitches. I don't need to go over why that's not the case because 1)I've posted about that before, and 2)I'm sure my readers already know that. But the overwhelming idea to people who either don't know any better or who are sexist is that feminists are bad and unnecessary.

Since August, I've learned about women who have given their whole lives to women's rights. Women who were repeatedly arrested and mistreated because they thought women should be able to vote, have access to birth control, and be equal, in general, with men. So many women sacrificed so much, for so many modern women and men to turn around and say: "Feminism is dead." It isn't, and we must continue what our foremothers have started. We can't stop until women have obtained full legal, social, and ideological equality with men. To stop, or even to be too quiet about our beliefs would mean to throw these women's sacrifices right back in their faces.

The fact is, while the modern person does not face near as much persecution (or prosecution) for declaring themselves a feminist, there is some social difficulties to it. Sometimes, relatives look down on you for it. Sometimes, people say things just to piss off "the feminist(s)." Sometimes, people who were laughing a second ago quiet down when a known feminist walks into a room, and that feminist knows they were probably laughing at something sexist. Feminists are often faced with the the task of calling out a person's sexism and making some people uncomfortable. But this past semester has only reinforced by belief that it's worth it. I'm not being overly sensitive, I'm not being uptight and humorless. Maybe, sometimes, I have to be a bitch, but I'm doing it because I believe in equality. I'm being a bitch for a good cause. And no one can ever convince me that that's an ignoble cause. Thousands of women have worked tirelessly in pursuit of equality, and they faced much worse consequences than being called a bitch, or being made fun of, or even being ostracized by some friends and family. If they can do it, so can I. And so can my sisters. So can everyone. Facing negative consequences has always been a part of fighting for something right, but the outcomes far outweigh any uncomfortable social circumstances you might face. So stand up, and don't let the fights of the past go to waste--be proud of your feminism.

Everybody Hates Feminism?

OK, maybe not everybody hates feminism, but sometimes it seems like it. When I Google "feminsm," beyond the pages of definitions, it seems that there are as many anti-feminist blogs and articles as there are pro-feminist blogs and articles. Ever since I started identifying as a feminist, and especially since I started this blog, I have been confronted and absolutely baffled by the venomous attitude many people have about feminism. I'm not talking about the kids who think it's funny to tell anti feminist jokes ("How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything. Ha. Ha. Ha. Somebody actually put this joke as a comment when my boyfriend re-posted my blog on his Facebook page). They annoy me, but they're not who I'm talking about. I mean the people who really seem to hate the idea of the advancement of women.

I've been reading a lot about feminism and anti-feminism lately. I recently joined the Google+ craze, and I have feminism as one of my sparks. Much of what pops up there is pretty hateful. I've been getting some fairly nasty comments on this blog, or comments when others re-post this blog. I read, I argue, but I just can't understand when people think that others do not deserve to be on the same level as everyone else because of gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. I am starting to dislike the word "privilege" because it is tossed around a little too nastily (and people have a pretty strong, negative reaction to it), but I feel like when men say that women do not deserve the same rights that they enjoy, they are, in fact, showing their privilege. They can't understand what it's like to be a woman, but they know they enjoy being a man, and they don't want women to invade their privileged space. Disclaimer: I am in no way saying all men are like that. Simply the men who are against women having equal rights.

Doesn't that disclaimer strike anybody as odd? Why should I have to say things like that? Shouldn't it be obvious that I'm not attacking all men? Often enough, though, it's not. No matter how often I cry, "I am not a man hater!" I am a feminist. And for so many people, feminist = man hater. Why? Here's my theory.

First, some women who identify as feminists will happily say that they hate men. I'm going to go ahead and say that this is a pretty insignificant minority. Unfortunately, people pay attention to radicals, and so these women get more attention than they deserve, therefore giving feminism as a whole a bad name.

Second, a great deal of what feminism is is a fight against sexism. Because feminism is all about gender--and there are only two main genders--the opposite gender, and the gender we most often fight against, sometimes takes offense. I'd like to speak directly to those men who are offended by feminism: If you've done nothing wrong, you've got nothing to be offended by. If you are not sexist, if you don't objectify women at every turn, if you would be just as comfortable with a female boss as a male one and have no problem with them earning equal salaries then, in my book, you're good. I'm very sorry if a feminist has made you feel bad about yourself for being a man. If they did, they were wrong. We are not fighting against men as individuals. We are fighting against a culture that has so long kept us from being whole people, from having our own goals and desires and thoughts, from being able to enjoy the same privileges that men have enjoyed for centuries. If you are with us in that fight, thank you! If not, well then you are what we're fighting against, and we aren't going to stop until we achieve equality. Note, not dominance. Equality.

Some people, I find, are simply offended that women would wish to shake their nurturing, maternal roots. That we don't agree to be unquestioningly obedient to our husbands, and that we want to obtain careers, even while being mothers. Many people criticize feminism for tearing down the "traditional family." Yes. Yes, we have. Or at least, we're trying. And I, as a feminist, am not sorry for it. If a traditional family means that a wife is to leave the decisions to the husband, to have little to no economic power, and to be generally viewed as lower than the husband, then it has no place in a world that yearns for equality. Partners, feminists believe, should be equal in all things. This is not to say that a woman has to leave her children to babysitters and chase a career. A woman can still be a housewife and be equal with her husband.

Of course, it isn't just men who are against feminism; there are a great deal of women, too. Just saying that one is a feminist invites debate or at least negative opinions. Michelle Bachman vehemently denies that she is a feminist, possibly because she believes it is political suicide. It's also quite possible, being a traditional evangelical conservative, she actually believes equality for women is bad. Then she should get in the kitchen, because if she denies feminist beliefs, then she has no right sticking her nose in politics, or being in any position of power. This is just one example of how the name of feminism has been so sullied, that people who should be embracing it, distance themselves from it. I'm very confused by this.

Here's what it all comes down to: feminism is about equality. It's the belief that women and men are both human beings, both capable of doing the same jobs, and both deserve to be treated with equal respect. That's it. Some feminists take it too far, some feminists don't take it far enough, I think. But I'm allowed to disagree with what other feminists say, in the same way that Christians disagree with other Christians, atheists disagree with other atheists, capitalists disagree with other capitalists, and so on.

At it's core, feminism is just arguing for, fighting for and working toward gender equality. Is that so bad?

Bad (for women and) Teacher(s)

Columbia Pictures' Bad Teacher will be released on June 24th, starring Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake. I have been disgusted with this movie from the first time I saw the trailer. It's not that didn't know that much of what Hollywood grinds out isn't always favorable to women or minorities, but this seems like a new low.

For those of you unfamiliar with the plot here it is, according to the trailer and reviews: Cameron Diaz plays a foul-mouthed, hard-partying woman who has been dumped by her rich fiance, and has to (gasp!) work for a living as a 7th grade teacher. She can't have that, so she makes it a goal to find someone to take care of her, and sets her sights on one of her colleagues (Justin Timberlake). For whatever reason, she gets it in her head that in order to land him, she has to get breast implants, which makes her actually get involved with her students, because there is some test-taking contest that involves prize money which she needs so she can get implants. Whew. So, a teacher hates her job and wants to marry a rich guy, and thinks she needs breast implants to do it. And in case you were wondering, yes, there is a car wash scene.

I'm flabbergasted. How can this be funny?Let's list off the awful ideas and stereotypes that this movie promotes:

1. Women should depend on men to financially support them.

2. It's okay for women to feel like they have to cosmetically alter their bodies in order to attract men.

3. Men are dumb and superficial and only notice and like a girl if she has big breasts.

4. I don't know what to say about how they treat teachers--that being a teacher is overall an uncool, sucky job? And that it's so easy, even an awful, unqualified person like Diaz's character could do it? Which is not at all cool, given the very real issues teachers are facing now, and how hard it is to get a job as a teacher.

I don't know how the movie ends. I will have to rely on someone else to tell me, because I refuse to spend money on this film. If I had to take a stab, I'd say that it has a warm, happy ending, in which the selfish, superficial teacher gets some sort of mild comeuppance and learns that maybe being a teacher isn't so bad, and that she can find someone who appreciates her--small breasts and all. Probably the Jason Segel character, 'cause in the preview he asks her to hold his ball sack, and she asks him to sign her yearbook. If that isn't mature, grown-up love, I don't know what is.

I don't think it matters how the movie ends, though. The fact is that Hollywood is once again finding ways to harm women and (try) to make it funny. I think that Hollywood has taken many, many steps backward in the past decade or two concerning women in film. What powerful roles have women been given lately? Most of the examples of "powerful" women are sexy women doing guy things. That's not empowering--that's just sexy women doing guy things. Movies like Sucker Punch and the Transformers franchise create an absurd image of women that doesn't exist in the real world. That isn't to say that there aren't girls who are into kicking ass and fixing cars--but the majority of those women aren't also into copious amounts of lip gloss and wearing push-up bras. (Actually, I don't know any woman who is "into" wearing push-up bras. Those things are crazy uncomfortable).

So the kind of women that are in many Hollywood blockbusters today are just decorative. They often don't add much to the story except sex appeal. This makes things difficult for real women who are actually people and have their own interests separate from what men like to do--or what men like to watch women do. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with men's interests; it just isn't fair to push them on women as the epitome of sexy and empowering. Because it isn't.

Bad Teacher is bad for women on a whole other level. Not only is Diaz's character unrealistic, but she is blatantly counter to what strong women believe in--that we are capable and therefore deserve to be equal in the workplace, and that we should be proud of our bodies. Our natural bodies. For some reason, this doesn't seem to be raising red flags for many people, but that's probably because we're so used to seeing Hollywood stick out its foot to trip feminism so often. And, obviously, it works. Because they keep doing it, and people keep lining up to see it.

Of course, there is one glaring exception to my "Modern Hollywood Sucks" bitchfest, and that's Bridesmaids. I've read some feminist criticism of Bridesmaids, which essentially complains that the first big female-powered comedy is about what? Yeah, marriage. Maybe, but isn't that what The Hangover movies are about? Pre-wedding craziness. Bridesmaids does the same thing, but from a female perspective, and it's hilarious to both men and women. I'm absolutely ecstatic that Bridesmaids has done so well, because that means that there is a market for that kind of movie. And where there is a market, there will be product.

I will not go see Bad Teacher, because I refuse to be a part of what encourages production companies to keep making these sort of mindless films. If you would like to see films that are actually empowering to women rather than making women sexy joke fodder, go see something like Bridesmaids instead.

The Dreaded Label

With the Third Wave of Feminism has come the phenomenon of women, who would otherwise be considered feminists, intentionally distancing themselves from that label. I believe that there are several reasons for this. First, is that our generation in general seems to dislike labels. I'm not sure why this is, but I have observed it quite often. A common sentiment is "I don't want labels imposed on me; I don't want to be categorized. I'm just me." I, personally, think labels are fine, to an extent. People have to categorize the world in order to understand it. The second--and stronger--reason I think that modern women are afraid to call themselves feminists is because of the stereotypes associated with feminism. These stereotypes have all been been boiled down into one charming term: feminazi. The man-hating, self-righteous, angry butch woman. Who wants to be that? Not very many people. I have heard very intelligent people express belief in this stereotype when they hear the word "feminist." (Try playing the popular party game "Apples to Apples" and see what associations people make with the feminist card). Where does this come from? Whose fault is it? Some people point to the second wave feminsts. The bra-burning, pantyhose slashing feminsts. Sure, it could be argued that, in some cases, they might have been a little over the top. Even if that's true, were they really bad enough to earn being called nazis? Were they bad enough to demerit a whole movement that seeks only to gain equality? Do strong, intelligent modern women really avoid being called feminists because groups of women finally got angry after centuries of oppression? Shouldn't we be proud of them, instead of shunning them? Many believe that the negative stereotypes associated with feminism came from the politics during the second wave, particularly Reagan-era politics. Reagan worked hard to reinforce the passive, housewife stereotype to make more room for men in the workplace. Reagan's politics urged the criticism of minority movements for trying to take the place of white males. I won't go into details since I've vowed to keep these posts short and therefore readable, but I encourage you to look for yourselves. And if you are a woman who stands up for women's rights and believes men and women should be equal, but who fights against being called a feminist, think about why. Why, exactly, are you against the feminist "label"? What are you trying to avoid by insisting upon not being called a feminist? I think everyone should be feminists. I realize that it's idealistic, but if everyone were feminists, if everyone declared their dedication to the idea of equality, then there would be no need for such a label.

Where Do We Draw the Line?

The first wavers in the feminism movement almost certainly had the most difficult fight to fight. When they began, women had very little control over anything that was not domestic, and even in the domestic sphere their power only went so far. They had to put the very first cracks in the glass wall that separates women from the world that men live in. Even today, that wall is not completely shattered.

We in the third wave of feminism have a different, more subtle fight to fight. We have to continue to chip away at that wall--it is, perhaps, stronger than we thought. Our difficulty comes not from a lack of voice, but from a lack of social freedom to use it. I realize that that sounds very dramatic, but this is something feminists--both men and women--face today. Much of sexism has burrowed down into a hole of humor. It's probably more realistic to say that there has always been sexism (and racism and ageism, etc.) in humor, but somehow in social upheavals, we've forgotten that humor can be harmful.

Now here's the rub: usually, pointing out that some jokes that are "all in good fun" are offensive often just kills the fun. I don't mean the fun of that particular joke. I mean the fun of the situation (party, drinks, get-together, television-watching, whatever) in which the offensive joke or comment is made. It would be easy to say that the person, show or movie who made the comment is ruining the fun, but no one looks at it that way. Instead, the person who took issue with the comment is seen as sour, bitter and uptight. And maybe we are.

So my question is, when do we speak up and say, "No. I will not stand for this casual sexism. I will not permit such 'joking' in my presence, because it goes against what I believe in. It is offensive to myself, and to everyone who has fought for equality. That is not funny." Obviously, we don't have to say exactly that, but when we speak up that is essentially what we're saying.

I can't claim that I speak up all the time. It's so much easier to let the moment pass, and not draw attention to myself. Because really, who wants to be seen as the uptight person that everyone else has to watch what they say around? And sometimes I think, It's just one joke. It's just one person, or one movie. What can I really do by getting upset about this? What harm can one joke do? But the only other option is to not do or say anything, and given the choice between speaking up and being passive (essentially saying, 'This is okay'), the choice should be obvious. Because the fact is one joke can do harm. Sexist jokes trivialize the feminist movement and reinforce harmful stereotypes. If feminists don't begin to find their voice amongst friends, how can we claim the right to make a difference?