Everybody Hates Feminism?

OK, maybe not everybody hates feminism, but sometimes it seems like it. When I Google "feminsm," beyond the pages of definitions, it seems that there are as many anti-feminist blogs and articles as there are pro-feminist blogs and articles. Ever since I started identifying as a feminist, and especially since I started this blog, I have been confronted and absolutely baffled by the venomous attitude many people have about feminism. I'm not talking about the kids who think it's funny to tell anti feminist jokes ("How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything. Ha. Ha. Ha. Somebody actually put this joke as a comment when my boyfriend re-posted my blog on his Facebook page). They annoy me, but they're not who I'm talking about. I mean the people who really seem to hate the idea of the advancement of women.

I've been reading a lot about feminism and anti-feminism lately. I recently joined the Google+ craze, and I have feminism as one of my sparks. Much of what pops up there is pretty hateful. I've been getting some fairly nasty comments on this blog, or comments when others re-post this blog. I read, I argue, but I just can't understand when people think that others do not deserve to be on the same level as everyone else because of gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. I am starting to dislike the word "privilege" because it is tossed around a little too nastily (and people have a pretty strong, negative reaction to it), but I feel like when men say that women do not deserve the same rights that they enjoy, they are, in fact, showing their privilege. They can't understand what it's like to be a woman, but they know they enjoy being a man, and they don't want women to invade their privileged space. Disclaimer: I am in no way saying all men are like that. Simply the men who are against women having equal rights.

Doesn't that disclaimer strike anybody as odd? Why should I have to say things like that? Shouldn't it be obvious that I'm not attacking all men? Often enough, though, it's not. No matter how often I cry, "I am not a man hater!" I am a feminist. And for so many people, feminist = man hater. Why? Here's my theory.

First, some women who identify as feminists will happily say that they hate men. I'm going to go ahead and say that this is a pretty insignificant minority. Unfortunately, people pay attention to radicals, and so these women get more attention than they deserve, therefore giving feminism as a whole a bad name.

Second, a great deal of what feminism is is a fight against sexism. Because feminism is all about gender--and there are only two main genders--the opposite gender, and the gender we most often fight against, sometimes takes offense. I'd like to speak directly to those men who are offended by feminism: If you've done nothing wrong, you've got nothing to be offended by. If you are not sexist, if you don't objectify women at every turn, if you would be just as comfortable with a female boss as a male one and have no problem with them earning equal salaries then, in my book, you're good. I'm very sorry if a feminist has made you feel bad about yourself for being a man. If they did, they were wrong. We are not fighting against men as individuals. We are fighting against a culture that has so long kept us from being whole people, from having our own goals and desires and thoughts, from being able to enjoy the same privileges that men have enjoyed for centuries. If you are with us in that fight, thank you! If not, well then you are what we're fighting against, and we aren't going to stop until we achieve equality. Note, not dominance. Equality.

Some people, I find, are simply offended that women would wish to shake their nurturing, maternal roots. That we don't agree to be unquestioningly obedient to our husbands, and that we want to obtain careers, even while being mothers. Many people criticize feminism for tearing down the "traditional family." Yes. Yes, we have. Or at least, we're trying. And I, as a feminist, am not sorry for it. If a traditional family means that a wife is to leave the decisions to the husband, to have little to no economic power, and to be generally viewed as lower than the husband, then it has no place in a world that yearns for equality. Partners, feminists believe, should be equal in all things. This is not to say that a woman has to leave her children to babysitters and chase a career. A woman can still be a housewife and be equal with her husband.

Of course, it isn't just men who are against feminism; there are a great deal of women, too. Just saying that one is a feminist invites debate or at least negative opinions. Michelle Bachman vehemently denies that she is a feminist, possibly because she believes it is political suicide. It's also quite possible, being a traditional evangelical conservative, she actually believes equality for women is bad. Then she should get in the kitchen, because if she denies feminist beliefs, then she has no right sticking her nose in politics, or being in any position of power. This is just one example of how the name of feminism has been so sullied, that people who should be embracing it, distance themselves from it. I'm very confused by this.

Here's what it all comes down to: feminism is about equality. It's the belief that women and men are both human beings, both capable of doing the same jobs, and both deserve to be treated with equal respect. That's it. Some feminists take it too far, some feminists don't take it far enough, I think. But I'm allowed to disagree with what other feminists say, in the same way that Christians disagree with other Christians, atheists disagree with other atheists, capitalists disagree with other capitalists, and so on.

At it's core, feminism is just arguing for, fighting for and working toward gender equality. Is that so bad?